Sympathy

Early in the competition, your opponent offers the usual good sportsmanship compliments when you perform slightly better than usual. It is necessary to establish a history of speaking up whenever you make a shot. Once his verbosity is accepted, he can then implement his tools of distraction.

Upon offering up his congratulations, he does not limit himself to the simple "good shot". He will be a bit more wordy. For example, he says, "Good shot. You are on target today." or "Pretty good. It looks like I've got my work cut out."

At the mid-game point of the match is when he can begin extending his sympathy for a few of your unsuccessful efforts. He does this by offering the normal sober sorrow and apologetic demeanor that a supporter or an ally would mention at a failure to perform. His considerate words are offered like this:

• First, "That was a good try." Sympathetic put-down, "Maybe if you used a couple more practice strokes."
• First, "You almost made that work." Sympathetic put-down, "Don't hurry the shot. Take your time."
• First, "Aw, man. You were robbed." Sympathetic put-down, "That should have been yours."
• First, "I wish I could give you a do-over." Sympathetic put-down, "You don't deserve to lose from such a small error."
• First, "You almost had that." Sympathetic put-down, "I think you didn't follow through properly."
• First, the Maxwell Smart trademark line "Missed it by that much." Sympathetic put-down, "Maybe if you adjusted your stance."

If you are not too deeply mired in your disappointment, you might realize that he is being two-faced with his sympathetic responses to your failures. You missed, he's at the table, and he is faking sympathy for your miss - AND mashing your face into your lack of success too. You suffer your personal disappointment, then have to bear up under his sympathetic remarks. After hearing this a half dozen times or so, you begin considering inventive ways to shut him up.

Response

On every statement from him, thank him ever so much for caring about how well you do. Be over-enthusiastic and more than a little sarcastic. See if he catches the hints along with the implied indicators of displeasure at his contributions to your well-being. If he doesn't stop at that point, he might be a little less intelligent than you suspected.

Since he initiated the original transgression, you can push the same sharking effort back at him, with more enthusiasm and more extensive sympathy or recommended solutions. This is not going to directly help your game, but it should cause his to go on a downslide.

For example, here is a standard counter response, "So close, yet so far. You really could use some practice on that shot. I know this instructor who can help you with that problem." When you begin getting glares of irritation or grimaces of frustration, you are succeeding. Respond with bright and cheerful smiles. The occasional, "you're welcome" also helps.

It might be a race to the bottom, but you want him to hit first. While he disentangles himself from his self-generated confusion, use the short timeframe to advance your game.

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